Frozen White
by theartsofseduction
Summary: Mello feels as though he's down to his final moments when he realizes that no matter where he goes, white will always follow him.


To be honest, I don't know where the title came from. I can't think of a good one for it unfortunately. xD;

And! I used my best friend's version of Near (.com/) ;)

She's very good at being him

* * *

My god I'm an idiot… I always knew I would do something stupid one day and fuck up in the end. I'm not sure if it was Near who drove me to run away, or if it was just… myself who wanted freedom. Now I'm lying here, thinking about which one it could be.

It's cold out. I don't know what day it is. I can hardly move my fingers; I think they're frozen in place. My lungs burn; they're working too hard just to get a small amount of oxygen. I usually wouldn't give up but… this feeling is all to inviting.

This feeling… it's warm. It's comforting. It's nothing like what I've felt before in my life. I want it. I can't describe the feeling since I've never felt it before. What feeling is so soft? So nice? So nurturing…?

My thoughts shift to Near. The Snow White of us all. He's beautiful and mistreated (mostly by me, I'm annoyed to admit), misunderstood. He bit into that poisoned apple, and instead of falling asleep, he obtained this sickening addiction. He didn't seem to care that the infection had begun to pump itself through his blood stream either. I'm not surprised.

His lips met a pale, fleshed colored almost identical pair. That was when he "bit the poisoned apple." He had fallen victim to its irresistible tastes. He was addicted. Near wanted this entire poisoned apple; and he didn't intend to share it with any one else.

I smiled, surprised that my face muscles still had function. The clouds were a light grey. I could see already that they were beginning to shed the flakes of snow on the ground. They clung to my eyelashes. I closed my eyes.

"_Mello…? Mello!_"

My name had never sounded so distant! It's familiar to my ears, but it sounds so different like that.

_Mello…! Mello…!_

The sound of my own name makes me smile. I curl into a ball as a last resort to absorb whatever warmth I have left. I don't see anything, I don't feel anything, and soon I stop hearing my name being chanted.

My lungs hurt. I stop breathing. Everything hurts, and in the end I thought I felt my heart stop beating too.

Did it actually stop?

I don't know.

_**What I don't understand is**_ why they always say you shouldn't go towards the light. If you think you're headed towards a dark hole, which you probably are since you're dying and all, the light is where you'd want to go. It's nice. It's bright. And it kind of shows you the way to what you would think is the right path, right?

I followed it.

I wasn't cold anymore, that was for sure.

When I looked around it seemed like everything was covered in a blanket of snow already. Like hours had passed since I had lost consciousness. _Everything_ was white! Right down to the tea. My clothes were white. The only things that weren't, were my hair and eyes. My skin was probably as milky white as Near's was. I wasn't too used to that. I was always at least a few shades darker than him.

_Me… ll… o…!_

I still hear it. I hear my name. It sounds like it's being sung now though. The sound is literal music to my ears. I haven't heard anything that good in such a long time that it's ridiculous. I grabbed the cuff of this disgustingly white shirt and walked through the white lands. I wasn't in heaven. I had done too much bad shit to end up in heaven. I had died, hadn't I? That's why I was here instead of freezing my ass off down in reality.

_M………….e…………ll………o………!_

The beautiful song was leaving again. This time it made me anxious. I thought the small chorus would go on forever, but I guess even good things must come to an end, right? No shit.

I kneel down, swiping my finger tips across the white on the ground. It doesn't remove itself. Is the white the actual ground?! I'm stuck in a perpetual bleached world! I'm doomed to be reminded of him for the rest of my afterlife! Reminded of Near; the boy who always used to piss me off. Who always used to take advantage of me without my permission. My shoulders slumped.

_Mello! Mello!_

"Mello…"

That was definitely not singing. That was whimpering. That was begging in my ear. That was pleading. But what's worse was I was still fucking cold. I thought I had finally escaped the cold, but it turns out I had just lost it for a moment there.

I opened my eyes. I wasn't where I had been before. I wasn't dead. I wasn't in the park in Los Angeles. Where in the hell was I? It was cold still. Had they not _heard_ of a heater?

"Mello…"

Near was gripping onto my shirt; his knuckles whiter than usual. His face was buried in my shirt. That explained why it was so cold in here. I was in my clothes. My clothes that were still wet from being out in the snow. Fantastic. I shivered. Apparently this didn't set Near off. Maybe I had been doing that while I was knocked out.

"Mello… Mello… Mello… Mello…"

That kid couldn't stop saying my name. And I still found myself wondering where I was. I knew I was in a hospital. The standard white bed, the sheets, and the walls all screamed bleach. That could explain part of the bizarre surroundings I had _just_ been in.

Near looked up after he had felt something. I don't know what it was, but it set him off.

"Mello…" he whispered, looking at my face. My eyes were aimed at the ceiling now. The monitor next to my head was beeping quicker now. Not because Near was there. He didn't have the ability to make my heartbeat faster unless we were playing dirty. Or playing rough, but anyway…

I managed a smirk. That was all he needed. He crawled onto the bed and hung onto me, his arms on my neck. I didn't recognize this feeling. I knew he had done something similar to this before, but it wasn't exactly familiar. His nose snuck into my (probably ice cold) collar bone.

"You're alive."

"You honestly though I was going to die on you? Thanks a lot jerk."

He didn't smile, or at least I didn't feel one on my neck. He just tightened his grip around me. I sighed and shook my head, "Where am I?"

"The Los Angeles Hospital for Children in the Emergency Room. I had finally found you from the satellites and when I saw you I got scared…"

"Was anyone else with you?"

"No… Just me." He paused. "But Watari, Roger, and…"

I looked at him, "Who else?"

"L…"

That made me smile. They were here?

"They're in the waiting room…"

I closed my eyes, feeling Near tense up above me. He shivered, worrying that I may not open my eyes again. What an idiot. I wasn't going to die that easily.

"They can come in later. I'm fine with having you here for now."

That's when I felt the smallest of smiles. He nuzzled himself closer to me, and the warmth returned. Sure, Near was usually colder than normal, but at the moment he was warmer than I was.

And his touch was so soft, so nice, and so nurturing.


End file.
